The endless journey

As each day of my life goes by i realize more and more importance’s that i have never thought about before.

I walk everyday staring at the ground afraid of what others will think if i look up. I am told constantly that my everyday facial expressions look like death stares or angry glares to the many people around me. I do not mean it, i do not think angrily of others easily and yet they all believe what their eyes see and can’t look beyond the thoughts that they believe i radiate towards them.

This endless journey to feel accepted for who i am will never go away, thought i hope that one day i find someone that make the journey worth while. So for now i will continue to stare at the ground until someone forces me to look at them. It may take years, i  may be on the brink of death before it happens but i believe that everyone has someone that will force them to look up. No matter what shape of size no matter your appearance or personality there will be one.

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My first step

Every single person in this world judges, they may not mean to or even want to but it is in our nature to look at someone and instantly judge them.

In the first 3 seconds of meeting someone just based on their looks alone you decide if you will talk to them or not. Then without getting to know them you will ultimately make up your own hypothesis about who they are and what type of person they are, whether it be true or not which in most cases it is not.

I do it too.

Just like everyone else i judge others but unlike others i have come to the conclusion that trying to stop judging may not be the problem. Everyone does it so just accept it and move on because just as much as i judge someone because i think they are not as good as they really are, i will always accidentally think that someone is better then that of what they are as well. It’s kind of a double sided blade i guess. I always make the wrong assumptions and believe that someone is as good as they can be, which is how i and many others get hurt.

So i shall now take my first step into the realization that no matter how good or bad someone is or may be, they can still hurt me.